I'm an athlete?

I'm pretty confident that I spent my entire childhood NOT running because I was afraid of what people might think.  

For those of you who spent hot, buggy Texas evenings watching me shuffle down the soccer field or grudgingly round the bases at softball, you can agree that I'm not exactly light-footed and graceful.  Seeing kids effortlessly fly past me only reinforced to my young self that ATHLETICISM?  I DIDN'T HAVE IT.  This is why I was on the dance team for four years of high school-- no running is required when sporting tasseled white boots, a petticoat and rhinestone cowboy hats.

I have never considered myself an athlete.  Athletes are graceful and move easily and are agile, and they are motivated to win!  They go all out every. time. and experience the thrill of a victory and the agony of defeat!  Um... yea, no.  I'm extremely competitive, yes.  I like to win and I like to be right, oh yes.  But I've just never had the drive to be the best on the playing field... or the track... or the tennis courts (7th grade PE credit, whoop whoop!).

When I started running a little over 4 years ago, Brian would go to the track with me to run and somehow evolved into my semi-coach.  After taking a walk break after an exhausting 1/4 mile of running (that would be ONE lap around the track, good gracious...), I would stop to walk, then kinda run, then walk again, then if I saw more people coming to the track, you could pretty much just consider me down for the count because there was NO WAY I was going to do the shuffle in front of spectators.  My lackadaisical routine must have a struck a nerve because he started telling me out of the blue to run a mile, just one mile, and then let myself walk.  And then as he walked away he told me that a jog isn't considered a jog unless both feet are always in motion, and that if I stopped to walk that that distance didn't count towards whatever distance I was aiming to complete.  As you can imagine, this went over extraordinarily well.  

So off I went, slowly making my way through four laps, making a concerted effort to have both feet in motion at all times.  If you close your eyes and think of that, you can probably picture me as a baby elephant trying to wobble forward.  I had no form, no posture, no idea how to breathe and not hyperventilate... it was a mess.  BUT I was moving.

Even now, just because I'm training to run a marathon and have learned how to do all of those things like breathe and pace myself and change how my feet strike if something feels funny and eat Gu Chomps mid-run and make sure my fists never clench and I run as if holding eggs in the palms of my hands... I still didn't feel like that qualified me as an "athlete."  And then I took to The Google:

athlete: a person who is trained or skilled in exercises, sports, or games requiring physical strength, agility, or stamina

Hm.  Are you wondering what the point of this blog is?  I was too, until just a moment ago-- completely lost track of where I was going.  Basically, I came across this picture today while perusing past NYC marathon stuff:

And I realized... I'm going to be running in front of thousands upon thousands of people lining the streets to cheer the marathoners on.  And I am one of the marathoners!  Mind. Blown.  On the days when I'm struggling with a run and even getting through three miles feels like torture because I JUST DON'T WANT TO, I try to remind myself of how far I've come:  from a clunky teenager who would stop jogging to walk when a car drove by, to a wannabe runner who couldn't make it two consecutive laps around a track, to an ATHLETE in her mid-20s who is training her bum off to run a marathon.  That is what I think they call "progress," my friends.

It's a struggle.

There are days when running just... stinks.  Big time.  I've trained for smaller races before and the highest mileage I ever really hit was between 3 and 5 miles, and by then I'd run the race and would go right back to maintenance miles, which were between 3 and 4 each time I'd run.

But now...  NOW it's constant.  Every day, there is a run.  When I wake up, I think about how many miles I have to run that day.  As the day goes by, I think about what I'm eating to fuel my body, if I'm drinking enough water to not get dehydrated, if I'm wearing the best shoes to support my weird 'n' crampy left arch.  When I get home, it's time management from the moment I get off of the train to get in my run, shower, cook, eat, try to breathe/relax for a moment, and head to bed to start over again.

I'm not an idiot-- I was very aware going into this that I'd be (literally) running my bum off.  But just like with any other workout, there are days when I'm loving the training and how good it makes me feel, how fit and strong I feel, etc.  It's REALLY fabulous to be hitting the distances that I'm running for long runs and not be, well... dead.  Because I totally thought I'd be crawling once I hit 10 miles.  Y'all, I wasn't even all that sore on Saturday.  It's fabulous because I know that I'm slowly training my body to be completely conditioned to take on a crazy goal, and it's working.  BUT for as many good days as there are, there might be three more bad ones.  There are days when I just don't want to do it.  The thought of doing anything else in the world as a physical activity OTHER THAN RUNNING is appealing.  

Since I'm being totally honest, there have been a couple of days where I just gave myself a break and didn't beat myself up about THE GUILT and didn't do anything at all.  I made sure that the days have been cross training or easy runs, never speedwork days or long runs.  I felt incredibly guilty about it at first, but after talking to fellow runners at work, they helped me to realize that if taking a day off to maintain my sanity is necessary, TAKE IT.  Training to put your body through 26.2 miles of running is crazy intense enough, and if you do it burnt out and exhausted, you're more likely to get tired of it in general, not to mention hurt yourself, not train at your full potential... and so forth.

At the end of the day, I know that training for a marathon is hard-- if it were easy, it'd be a lot less of an accomplishment to have crossed the finish line, and a heck of a lot more people would do it.  And I knew I'd hit bumps during training-- it's totally normal to be angry when you read the word "Fartlek" and have to wear sneakers to commute in because your foot hurts and know that by Saturday afternoon you'll have run 25 miles and that your body will be TIRED.  

But in the end, I know it will so be worth it!

In other running news...

I ran my 10 mile long run on Saturday.  

It was horrific... because it was on the treadmill.  

As I'd mentioned, my arch in my left foot has been bothering me, so I've been babying my foot a little bit until my appointment with Sports Medicine this Thursday afternoon.  I didn't want to run 5 miles out from the car and have my foot start bothering me... so I chose to run on the treadmill.  Even with a good night's sleep, tons of water and my energy Gu, it was a tough run.  Physically, I felt great.  Mentally, the games-- they were a-playin'.  

When I do long runs outside, it's easy to pick something else to focus on when I'm struggling, even if it's making it to the next street sign, then that red car, then the big building... and once I'm there, I'm usually past the little wall that was trying to shut me down.  But on the treadmill, the only things you have are your body, that rubber belt under your feet, and whatever sight you're seeing directly in front of you (for me, a big pretty window... that opens to the warm, sunny courtyard... that backs up to a building.  Not exactly inspiring.)  Knowing it would be a trying run, I had downloaded a movie to my Kindle but not even Bridget Jones could help me through this one.  Bridget nor Hugh nor Colin in all of their British man glory-- fail fail fail.  

It can also really mess up your rhythm when the treadmill only allows you to run 60 minutes at a time, so since I was running for over an hour and a half, I had to time it to catch the distance and time up enough with each other so they'd be at a sort of round number when I got to 60.  As if I want to play with math at a time like that while trying to breathe, not trip, not gasp too loudly-- balls to that.

BUT I made it.  And I tried my second form and flavor of Gu.  My current favorite are the Gu Chomps, watermelon flavor.  They're gummy but not overly chewy, so if you can get past nearly choking when first sampling while running, you're gold!

Watermelon Gu Chomps: 

This weekend I tried an actual Gu gel, strawberry banana flavor... and about died.  The flavor, the consistency, the sweetness-- gah, I have chills just writing about it.  It was awful.  It did it's job, but I will not be relying on the gel for my runs any longer.

Off to make friends with my Fartleks.

I ran a Niner. And it stunk.

Last Saturday morning, I ran nine miles.  9.  NINE.  I'm not really sure how to describe it, even though admitting that is like breaking the first cardinal rule of blogging.  Brian and I had been chatting and running the longer distances close to our apartment was getting to be really difficult.  Pretty much any way you turn, the roads are really busy and the sidewalks are cracked and crumbly (that doesn't paint a pretty picture for my Texans, I'd imagine...), so it's hard to get into a long run and kind of zone out.  It's safe (and I always carry my runners mace-- thanks Jannie) and all but it's just... hard.  And running lots of miles is hard enough, so why add more obstacles?

The final straw kind of came when I ran my 8 miler.  There's this one section of sidewalk along my route that is AWFUL.  It also just happens to be along the busiest street in our town.  It's all driveways split with cracked cement mixed with dirt mounds... obviously the best running surface out there.  When I run this part, I definitely think of it as my trail run and am leaping and bounding to land in the right spots.  In my head, I look like Katniss from The Hunger Games, sprinting through the forest (there are totally trees and branches and vines): 

source

Alas, Katniss I am not, so I try to block out what passersby are thinking as the girl in hot pink leaps along as Kanye sings in her ear.  Guarantee I'm not looking as light-footed as I feel.  Anyways, the last run I did along that road I landed funny and almost twisted my ankle.  I was also exhausted and dehydrated, so that probably played a part as well.  But I decided I was DONE with that long run route.

Since my Saturday mornings consist of trips to Target and Trader Joe's in Hanover anyways, we decided it would make sense for me to start running in Scituate.  So this past Friday I laid out everything I would need for the next morning (again with the lies about just lacing your sneaks and running out the front door!): my clothes, shoes, FIFTEEN DOLLAR running socks, iPod case, headphones, a packet of Gu Chomps, sunscreen, my Camelbak backpack was filled with water and in the fridge chilling, and my iPod was charging.  My alarm went off at 6:30 Saturday morning and I was off. 

I was feeling really proud of myself and excited on my drive down and maybe a little emotional (why?  Because I'm Katie.) because I definitely got completely choked up as I was singing along to this song on the radio:

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I kid you not.  Couldn't get the words out.  

As I pulled into the parking lot I'd mapped out and at that moment, it occurred to me that I felt like an official runner, like a pre-marathoner.  I tucked my Gu and car key into my Camelbak and buckled myself in: 

Let me tell you, it's even more attractive ON.  With my iPod on and my hat adjusted, I was off.  I'd already mapped out my distance so I knew where I was heading.

Can I just say now that when you drive a distance, you never really think about how far it actually is?  For all of you Scitutes, in my head I knew I had to run from the driftway Dunkin Donuts, loop Peggotty, loop the Lighthouse then run straight back down the Driftway.  EASY STUFF. 

Wrong.  An easy route, yes.  Flat and smooth and easy to zone out?  Absolutely.  Did I hit any walls during my run?  About a million.  Thoughts that went through my head?

Miles 1-3: 

It's buggy.  

The humidity is gross.  

It's foggy. 

Love the smell of that sea bree-- why the eff does it smell like clam chowder?

*Hit Peggotty's incline and took a Gu*

There is NO WAY I'm running this hill.

I AM FLYING!!

Miles 4-6:

My nose is itching.  

My ankle hurts.  

The arch of my left foot hurts.  

I wonder if I'll see anyone I know.

Save some energy to sprint through the Harbor and look impressive.

*Realized I'm an idiot for sprinting through the Harbor and took 2 Gu*

That old man just passed you.

Ooh, I love running by the Lighthouse.

Cute dog!

That old man just passed you again.

Miles 7-9: 

I'm dead.  DEAD.  There's no way I'm going to run 26.2 miles!

*Hit the Harbor and took 2 Gu*
I'M FLYING!  I HOPE I SEE SOMEONE I KNOW!  I'M TOTALLY GOING TO BE THAT ANNOYING MOM SOMEDAY WHO RUNS WHILE EFFORTLESSLY PUSHING THREE KIDS IN A RUNNING STROLLER!

Training ain't pretty, my friends.  Once I hit the 8.5, I knew I was good and just slowly enjoyed the last little bit of the run.  It wasn't terrible but could have been better; it wasn't awesome but could have been way worse.  Regardless, I finished 9 miles.  My legs were rubber when I got back to the Jeep, but I felt amazing.  

I've had a weird cramp on and off in the arch of my left foot for the last week and have an appointment this Thursday with Sports Medicine, so I'm hoping to get that little issue squared away.  Just to be safe though, I'm sticking to the treadmill at the apartment for tomorrow's long run in case it starts to flare up.  I do not need to get stuck 5 miles away from the car and hobble 5 miserable miles back-- no thank you!  So, I'll be making friends with Sandy tomorrow morning-- my current movie is The Blindside.  It makes me cry and laugh and forget the fact that I'm a hamster in a spinny wheel for the next hour and a half.

Happy weekend!

Meet Ellie!

Friends, family, bloggers, supporters... 

Meet Ellie!

This would be the sweet little girl who I've been matched with and will be running the marathon for as part of the Patient Partner Program!  Ellie and her mom mailed me an info sheet that all runners and patients fill out about each other, and then we swap to learn a bit about who we're paired with!  

Ellie's Favorites

Animal: Kitty cat

TV Show: Mickey Mouse Clubhouse

Food: Pasta (I'm with her on that one!)

Game: Basketball

Things that she likes to do for fun: Swimming

Things that make her the happiest: Diving in the pool!

Ellie is excited to be a part of the program because: I like running!

I could just melt.  I cannot wait to meet this little one!

If you're interested in the answers to MY questionnaire, let me just say that it's difficult to spin adult favorites into something a three year old will understand.  For instance, my favorite movie?  Either The Godfather, Steel Magnolias, or A Christmas Story.  Kid-friendly version? Elf!  My favorite TV show?  Currently Breaking Bad.  Kid-friendly? Friends!  

The absolutely honest answer to a question?

I am excited to be part of this program because: I love to run and am so excited to be matched with Ellie-- every mile is for her!

THAT is the God-honest truth.

In fundraising news, I am officially HALFWAY to my goal of $3000!!  

I am blown away every day by the generosity of the people who know me in so many different ways: my family, Brian's family, my best friends, friends that I've made since moving to Boston and Brian's friends who I consider my own as well, coworkers, my parents' coworkers, people who work in the hospital and see "I'm running the ING New York City Marathon for Boston Children's Hospital!" in my email signature and randomly reach out... it is amazing what people will come together to support when the cause is as amazing as what the Miles for Miracles team stands for.

If you would like to sponsor me, I invite you to stop by my fundraising page!  

http://howtohelp.childrenshospital.org/newyork/page/Katherine-Fox.htm

Thank you so much to all of you who have contributed already-- I love you all!

Happy weekend, my lovelies.  Tomorrow morning awaits me with a 10 miler on the schedule-- whoop!

Ellie: The sweet patient who's making this crazy training worth it!

Yesterday morning I woke up to an email saying that I had officially been matched with my Boston Children's Hospital patient, as part of the Patient Partner Program.  Her name is Ellie, she's 3 years old and she has been a patient at Boston Children's since before birth.  I am SO excited and can't wait to find out more about this little girl, and will potentially share more information and her photo after I chat with her mom and she confirms how much info she would like to be shared.  She is adorable and seems so full of life, and that little spark in her eye is exactly what I have been needing!  

One of the biggest reasons that I chose to be matched with a patient is I knew that even on the darkest days of running, when the last thing that I want to do is lace up my sneakers and head out the door, I could think of this little one who I had been matched with and my annoyances at the moment would become so insignificant, I would realize I had no reason NOT to be training.  As I've mentioned before, my excuses can either be mindblowingly awesome or painfully pathetic, ranging from "My running capris feel snug... I'll just sit on the couch a few more minutes to make them more comfy" (pathetic) to "That 8 mile run on Sunday made my knee feel a little twitchy... Perhaps I should not run today and RICE it" (awesome).

The thing is, at the end of the day I can guarantee that whatever I'm going through is a heck of a lot less troubling and difficult than what sweet Ellie and the majority of the other patients at BCH have gone through, are currently working through, or will spend the rest of their lives trying to manage.  

It all brings me back to my reason for running for my hospital.  Yes, at the beginning, it was a convenience-- I saw an ad on our intraweb about running with Miles for Miracles so I sent off the application thinking I'd never hear back from anyone.  But the moment that I was offered a spot and began to read about the impact that this team has on patients and their care, I knew that I had chosen well.  I can't walk through the main hospital now without looking at awfully sick little ones and thinking "You.  Today's miles were run for you."  Every dollar that I have raised, every mile that I have run has been and will be for them.  And let me tell you-- it's a pretty amazing feeling to know that I'm playing a small part in making a big impact.

If my marathon were a movie (and Sandra Bullock played me because... obviously!), when I cross the finish line on November 4th a little montage would play, showing every sweet little face that I've seen, the faces that match to the names that match to the stories of the patients to whom I'm dedicating four months of my life.  Actually, I'm pretty positive that this will happen regardless of the fact that a) my life is not a movie and b) Sandy will not be crossing the finish line--I will.  Some of you who know me well may also know that I love a good montage and that a GREAT montage can send me right into tears.  Since I'm already preparing to cry my eyes out when I finish, the thought of not only what I've accomplished but who I've accomplished it for will make the end THAT much sweeter.  It's this part of the training that makes the end result SO much more worth it, and that, my friends, is exciting.

The key to 8 miles is distraction!

Yesterday morning, I conquered my dreaded 8 miles.  For the past few weeks, while I was working out the schedule adjustments with the Level 1/Level 2 combo/switch, I was experiencing intense doubts of both confidence and capability... as in I was confident that I was not capable of running 8 miles.

Maybe it was maintaining my mileage during the week but drastically bringing the long run mileage down.

Maybe it was successfully running a tiny bit over 7 last weekend and although I nearly fainted from not hydrating enough, I felt like I could run forever.

Maybe it was all of the Olympic coverage of the marathoners and distance runners-- if they can run 10,000 kilometers and not even break a sweat, surely I can run 8 miles at a slower pace than normal.

Maybe (more likely than any other reason) it was the fact that I knew at some point, people were going to get sick of hearing me say "Oh yea... I'll get to 8... soon.  Just gotta work up the endurance a little more!  Almost there!"

So with that in mind, I headed to the gym yesterday morning to face my demons.  Now, I'd like to take a moment to reiterate how intensely I dislike the treadmill.  With a passion.  Of a million fires and all of that jazz.  Running on a belt and staring at the wall is incomparable to getting outside and having constantly changing scenery to distract you.  I knew that if I was going to survive the run, I had to bring in the big guns:

That's right.  Two episodes of Lorelai and Rory Gilmore coached me through my run on my Kindle.  And I gotta tell you, the miles FLEW by.  It's important to me to run outside as much as possible since the marathon is obviously not run on a treadmill, but it's nice to know that when the going gets tough, I can bring in the crew from Stars Hollow to pep it up.

Positives from this past week?  Very little soreness, even though I racked up a total of 22 miles, which is crazy to even think about having run.  Also, 8 miles equals 1252 calories burned-- yes to that!

Negatives? The humidity.  And I tried Gu Chomps, watermelon flavored.  The pro was that I loved the flavor and didn't have issues with an aftertaste or anything.  Con?  I nearly choked/suffocated trying to chew, swallow, and breathe all at once.  Doing this while sitting, yes.  While running?  Add it to my list of "Things I must get used to."

On the schedule for this week...
M: 4 easy miles
T: 4 mile Fartlek
W: Rest
Th: 3 mile tempo run + 1-2 mile WU/CD
F: XT 60 minutes
S: 9 mile long run

Swing by my Fundraising Page!!

http://howtohelp.childrenshospital.org/newyork/page/Katherine-Fox.htm

Running, such a mental game we play...

I may have run the best 4 miles of my life last night.  


"Um, Katie... you know you have to complete that PLUS 22.2, right?"


Friends, I'm workin' on it.  Rome was not built in a day, nor were my legs prepped overnight to carry me from Temple, Texas to Jarrell, Texas on I-35 (a little marathon distance perspective for my Southern people).  If I think of that chunk of miles all at once, I will crawl into a hole.  So for now, 4 miles is the victory.


Fortunately for me, I've figured out that running is almost more of a mental challenge than a physical challenge.  If my mind is in the right place, I feel strong, well-trained, invincible-- I could run for days!  But if I go into a workout with negative thoughts, thinking of how tired I am, how my shins have been bothering me, my legs are antsy-feeling at night, it's too muggy/rainy/hot/sticky, that I just don't WANT to run today... I'm doomed from the get-go.  


Last night I had 4 easy miles on the schedule and I BATTLED to go out and do it.  I knew there was no way I was going to get on the treadmill, which left me with heading to the local high school track.  I finally left the apartment at 7:15, walked out of the front door... and into the rain.


Challenge 1: I know my feet will not move on a treadmill tonight.  Do I dare run in the rain?  It's not like they'll cancel the marathon if it rains, so I might as well practice in it now.  


Straight to the car I went.  As I drove, the steady drizzle started to come down in sheets and then buckets.  "I won't melt.  I won't melt.  I won't melt."


Challenge 2: I'm not a fan of running at the track in the evenings if there aren't many people around.  It's safe enough but still... that would not be keeping my guard up (thanks, Dad!).  As I pull in, I notice there aren't many people there.  Maybe I should-- hm.  Maybe I should notice that three cars just drove in behind me and they appear to be here to run as well.


Leaving my iPod in the car knowing it would just get soaked, I headed to my starting line.


Challenge 3: I might go crazy if I think of the fact that 4 miles around this track equals 16 laps.  Repetition is what kills my track runs when I'm not doing speedwork.  Wait a sec!  Perhaps I'll tell myself that I'm running 16 MILES instead of LAPS.  


And so I did.  As I passed my starting point time and time and time again, I was saying to myself "Yes, mile 11!  You're fabulous!  If you hit 13 you've run half of the distance of a marathon!" instead of "Oh my word, that's lap 2 of mile 2, so I have 10 laps left-- shoot me now!"


I'm glad that only I heard the cheering inside my head.  And I'm not delusional.  I am fully aware that 4 miles is nothing like 16, but that mind game is what it took to get me around the track, on pace and with good form and a great outlook.  It was amazing.  I FELT amazing and I can't lie-- I feel pretty pissed to be running sometimes... but not last night.  


Everything perfectly aligned and as I ran in the rain without my music and listened to my steady, practiced breathing and the strike of my foot on the soft track; as I kept the rhythm of my comfortable, easy pace and noticed I felt no aches or pains where I usually do... I couldn't help but smile--  I'm a runner.  I am a legitimate runner, and while my perfect run last night may have only been a fraction of what I will face on November 4th, it showed me what I'm capable of doing, what my body is capable of doing...


... and how far I've come from the days in elementary school when I used to spin myself on the tire swing to get out of running to the fence and back.  I suppose there's a learning curve for everyone when it comes to athleticism...